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Conflict by itself doesn't predict marriage problems.Some couples fight a lot but somehow never manage to lose respect for each other.When this is the case, stating and restating one's position is based on a mistaken premise and can only cause further upset.In the second stage of the breakdown process, one or both spouses starts to feel contempt for the other, and each spouse's attitudes about their partner change for the worse.Basically compatible partners may demonstrate a whole lot of conflict, but they don't often become contemptuous and angry with their partners, because there are by definition few things that they will disagree upon.In contrast, partners who start out with incompatible goals, values or dreams are far more likely to get into seemingly irresolvable conflicts.Like a steam-valve in a pressure cooker, the partners start avoiding one another so as to minimize their conflicts.

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Importantly, the 'bad' behavior that the spouse demonstrates doesn't have to be something he or she actually does.

Instead, it could be something that he or she doesn't do, that the spouse expects them to do (such as rembering to put the toilet seat down after use).

Predictable patterns of marriage breakdown There is no single reason why a relationship begins to break down.

However, once a relationship does start to break down, there is a predictable sequence of events that tends to occur.

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